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Arse: My Antidrug - The Adventures of Legolas Greenleaf

About Arse: My Antidrug

Previous Entry Arse: My Antidrug Aug. 22nd, 2004 @ 01:11 pm Next Entry
Hello, lovely elleths. We are paused for a few hours upon the plains of Rohan so Gimli might rest for an hour or two. I myself am restless, eager to move on, but it would do no good to exhaust the others.
So I will give you elleths a recap of the past few days, then spend some time on Elf Porn Shack if I can find no one to chat with.

Once again, I have grown so very lonely. I am down to two companions, one of which grows more addicted to drugs by the day. Indeed, I canot even speak to Aragorn anymore unless I wish to discuss the merits of Lembas as "munchie food" or whether or not an Orc helmet might make a good bong.
The problem worsens. Here he is rooting in the dirt for "Magic Hobbit 'Shrooms" while I watch in despair.

What must I do to help him? I have suggested "Gondorians Anonymous", a program our dear departed Boromir swore by but Aragorn just snapped back, "I would not lead my drugs within a hundred leagues of that city!"
I tried to make him understand just how dire this situation is with our companions.
"Legolas! Do your elf eyes see weed?" Aragorn called.
"Blast your drugs, Aragorn! They are taking the hobbits to Isengard!" I cried.

"So what, you poncy, melodramatic wanker?" he shot back. "Bet the wizard can cook up some damn fine substances."
"They are in mortal danger!" I shouted.
"Here, Mirkwood. Try this shit, it'll loosen you up." he said, offering me a freshly packed bowl.
"Come on, one time won't hurt you none!" Aragorn wheedled.
"NO!" I snapped.
Luckily, he spotted a cloud that he swore looked like a hobbit's arse covered with whipped cream and became distracted.

We have no chance of success in our mission if this behavior continues, my elleths. I know not what to do to help him anymore. Even Gimli thinks I am being too uptight, as he is a recreational user himself. Why does no one understand this plight and what it will do to us all?! Why does no one understand ME?

Which LOTR guy are you going to marry?
You will Marry
You marry him because hes a great cook
Chance of you two staying together - 25%
number of kids you will have 8001
This cool quiz by xbizcochox - Taken 1195 Times.
New - COOL Dating Tips and Romance Advice!

I want to go home. Instead, I am bound to follow Aragorn into the sunset of certain destruction. I doubt I shall even live to see my beautiful elleths or the beloved trees of Mirkwood ever again.

Gûrel câr man arad?: crushedcrushed
Man pen linna?: Sick Cycle Carousel- Lifehouse/ Run Away- Live
Leave a comment
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 22nd, 2004 11:16 am (UTC)
Do not lose hope, Big Ada. I am thinking of you always. You are never truly alone. Please do try to stay away from the weed, darling. You must keep your wits about you now that the others have abandoned theirs.
Find me soon, my prince.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 22nd, 2004 11:17 am (UTC)
Keep the Faith my Good Prince, Aragorn is going to need you to keep him from getting impaled by an orc arrow if he isn't lucky.

You are not being uptight because you won't 'smoke a bowl' with him or Gimili, you just don't want to see your Elfhood shrivel Theirs is gonna do. Plus you need to keep your wits about you.

Strive On. :)
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 22nd, 2004 02:50 pm (UTC)
sorry to go all fangirl on you but *squee* *instantly friends you* i'm sure you will make it there eventually, don't worry ^_^

may not be entirely appropriate, but i'm wondering how you keep your hair looking so beautiful. is it naturally like that or do you have to sneak off and do it while the others aren't looking?
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 22nd, 2004 10:34 pm (UTC)
Stay away from that weed. The last time you were with Aragorn and he "fell off the wagon" the stench never left your silver tumic. I will not wash your clothes with that smell embedded in it. Sending you some good porn. I know you are lonely, wish I was there with you.
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 22nd, 2004 11:23 pm (UTC)
Oh, Legolas. I'm so sorry that you have to be in so much pain. Stupid Aragorn. He's just hurting himself. Don't get mixed up with the weed.

I hope everthing gets better.

<33 Hallaheniel <33
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 23rd, 2004 06:10 am (UTC)
Ow my fair prince, what a miserable situation you're in!
I think this calls for shagging some sense into the Ranger...
Date:August 23rd, 2004 07:50 am (UTC)
I came upon your journal last night. I hope you don't mind me adding you.

[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 23rd, 2004 11:41 am (UTC)
Poor Aragorn. With no elleths and therefore no arse, it's no wonder he's behaving like a silly teenage boy. I agree with mrs_silmarwen - he needs a good seeing to...
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 27th, 2004 06:50 pm (UTC)


( *is in awe of the splender of your spoofish journal ::adds::)

Forgive the intrusion..*tries to curtsie but ends up falling over* stupid high heels..*Et em* ello..I have read the tails of your journey and they sadden me. Don't loose faith, Aragorn will come around sooner or later..maybe a few years but sooner or later..that was awful of him to call you poncy, which you are so not..

[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 28th, 2004 05:04 pm (UTC)
o! that terrible Aragorn..sometimes he can really be a bad influence on you. But don't give in, hopefully along the way you can find more clouds that look like hobbits arses covered in whipped cream. That could keep keep him occupied enough to stop with the weed =)
[User Picture Icon]
Date:August 31st, 2004 08:22 pm (UTC)

Which LOTR guy are you going to marry?
You will Marry
You marry him becasue hes smart
Chance of you two staying together - 73%
number of kids you will have 668
This QuickKwiz by xbizcochox - Taken 1284 Times.
New - Kwiz.Biz Astrology and Horoscopes

seems accurate to me ;)
Sending love your way!
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