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Aragorn the Diva - The Adventures of Legolas Greenleaf

About Aragorn the Diva

Previous Entry Aragorn the Diva Aug. 10th, 2004 @ 03:15 am Next Entry
Suilad my sycophantic followers! I am camped out with the rest of the Fellowship beside the lovely river Anduin. I am quite uncomfortable here and would like to move on but unfortunately, the others require food and rest.
The good news is that, with the exception of Boromir (who is acting rather sleazy lately) I am getting along much better with my companions.
Gimli and I actually had a long conversation last night, finally finding a bit of common ground in our mutual love of hot elleth's arses and orc torture methods. I suppose he isn't so bad. It is not his fault that he was born a dwarf after all and, as long as he does not try to creep up on my snatch, he is definitely tolerable.

I am anxious, my elleths. My elven senses have made me aware of the fact that an obscene amount of orcs are heading this way but damned if I can get Aragorn to listen.

"We should leave now," I whispered nervously to the Ranger who was obviously high on pipe weed.
"Huh?" he said with a start. "Leave the cow?"

"No, Aragorn. Leave now. Leave this place!" I reiterated.
"But orcs patrol the eastern shore," he responded. "I do not feel like geting into a fight right now. Can't we all just get along?

"Aragorn, sober up and listen to me!" I whispered frantically. "A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near, I can feel it!"

"Did Gandalf leave you in charge?!" Aragorn retorted. "Are you the one that is destined to become a mighty king?"
"Well, yes...I may become king someday if my father..." I started.
"SHUT UP LEGOLAS! You are ruining my buzz!"
"But a shadow and a threat has been growing in my..." I tried again.
"And an erection is growing in my pants," Aragorn said. "I am going to rub one out while I dream of Frodo's tiny sweet arse!"

Can Aragorn not think of anything but arse, even when our lives may be in mortal danger?! I think the power is going to his head and I do not mean the one on top of his shoulders. There are more important things than sex, can he not see that?!

We are so fucked.
Gûrel câr man arad?: worriedworried
Man pen linna?: Beautiful- Christina Aguilera
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From:oblotr
Date:August 10th, 2004 12:32 am (UTC)
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Legolas, please make sure the weed gets wet next time. I'm sure if you put it under Gimli's head while he sleeps, there will be enough drool to soak it. Happy orc hunting! Be careful
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From:id_anonymous
Date:August 10th, 2004 01:20 am (UTC)
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Better keep Aragorn away from that pipe weed when things get real tough, eh? ^_^
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From:misswilde
Date:August 10th, 2004 02:35 am (UTC)
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Glad you and the Dwarf are finally getting on. Does he have his own band of elleths then? Or have you been sharing yours with him? ;)
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From:oblotr
Date:August 10th, 2004 04:54 am (UTC)
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Legolas has not shared us with Gimli. Eww.. I think we would disown him.
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From:mistaria
Date:August 10th, 2004 09:33 am (UTC)
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"Did Gandalf leave you in charge?!" Aragorn retorted. "Are you the one that is destined to become a mighty king?"
"Well, yes...I may become king someday if my father..." I started.
"SHUT UP LEGOLAS! You are ruining my buzz!"


XD!!!

I'm sure you'll be fine Legolas, being the great warrior that you are. :) Just think of your lovely elleths waiting for you. ;)
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From:bohemianbeauty
Date:August 10th, 2004 10:44 am (UTC)
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well now. i guess it sucks that Aragorn is in charge and high on weed. be strong, Legolas; i think the Fellowship will need your guidance to get them through!
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From:spurkycreations
Date:August 11th, 2004 12:59 am (UTC)
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DARE. LOL! i had totally forgotten about that... brings back aweful aweful childhood memories. thanks. :)
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From:alaksirwen
Date:August 11th, 2004 09:05 am (UTC)
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I have faith in you my dear prince, keep those beautiful eyes open and aware at all times.

Thinking of you
~Alaksirwen
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