I am back, my lovely elleths! It seems that everyone except for me has been posting in my journal. I am not too angry about Pippin, as he truly means no harm.
He mostly likes to hop on to look up recipes and play Neopets, something I have been rather absorbed with as well lately, thanks to ladyheatherlly who allows me to use her account. I think this is better than porn!
Speaking of her, she helped me get revenge on Haldir by infecting his computer with a virus called the "Nazgul Worm". Now, every time he turns his computer on the screen goes black and the hard drive makes terrible screaming sounds!
The first time this happened, he dove under a table crying for Celeborn as he sucked his thumb.
Marchwarden my arse.
I have greatly enjoyed Lothlorien though, especially the exquisite cuisine of fruit and elvish waybread. I was growing weary of nasty human food.
And this morning I was given the nicest gift I have ever recieved:
“My gift for you, Legolas, is a bow of the Galadhrim, worthy of the skill of our woodland kin.” Lady Galadriel said.
Then, "Put the bow down, Legolas. Dwarves are not meant for target practice!" As she left, I could not help teasing Gimli. I got one of the finest bows in Middle Earth, he got whatever Galadriel could pick out of her hairbrush.
Indeed, I believe she wants this sweet, succulent arse.
Pity she did not speak up sooner. I would have liked to have seen if she glows like that all over. Of course, after hearing Frodo's account of the events at her mirror, I do not think exciting her would have been very sexy.
Would not want to wake up next to that. ::shudder::
My main reason for writing this post, however, is to announce to you, my beautiful elleths, that I have fallen in love with the lovely alaksirwen.
I love each and every one of my elleths and this has no bearing on incessant craving for arse from all of you. We can still "pork each other" as you Americans might say...but alaksirwen is very special to me and my heart is lightened by the precious arse slapping, ada screaming moments we have shared.
I miss her, even now...Long for her sweet lips upon mine once more.
This is me looking very sexy paddling down the Anduin. What you do not see is that I have just shoved Gimli out of the boat
He flailed in the water screaming Dwarfish curses until Aragorn rescued him and started yelling at me. Not my fault he needed a bath! ::pout::
Alright my elleths. I am going to go pretend to take the watch so I might "choke my chicken" in privacy.